Cutting Off jokes

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?

A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.

Who was the meanest man in the world?

He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.

How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?

It took my sole.