There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal...
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood
I am the Lorax I speak for trees I have the high ground and I will cut off your knees
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
How do you keep a mute women you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
knock knock
who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer w-
is cut off by being murdered
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
If I were to cut your legs off would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? Are you all right?!?!
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them.
It took my sole
i have a vest. if i cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
What to do you do after you rape a deaf girl? Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
What's a pirate's favourite letter?
(People will then say r)
Arrr, you think it be r but really it's the C that they love.
What's a pirate's least favourite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material and your internet will be cut off.
Who was the meanest man in the world: He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
if u cut off ur head u cant breathe u also cant breathe if u die so y isnt it debreathiation
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!" Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
