Cut jokes
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
"Aww, it's a boy, let me cut off the ombelicul cored, sir, that's his penis!"
"It's a girl."
"what's that on your wrist?"
"I'm a cutting board. duh"
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."
A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.
Cut.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.