Cut jokes
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
What do you call an emo with knife cuts on their wrist?
A barcode.
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.
Why don't you take emo skydiving?
They cut the rope.
What is an emo's favorite game?
To delete Cut the Rope.
Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.