Cunt

Cunt jokes

Hand

What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

Tunnel

Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.

He shouts “you stupid cunt!”

The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”

Dodi replies...:

“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”

Prostitution

What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?

The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.

Site

Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.

Book

Salman Rushdie got a new book out.

It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."

Story

True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.

The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"

Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"

Street

Two cunts were walking down the street.

One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."

Grandfather

Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

My last thought: Am I a murderer?

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  • Man

    My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.

    Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.

    Word

    I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

    Gay Guy

    We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.

    Night

    Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

    "Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

    "I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

    Suicide

    I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

    Bus

    I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

    She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

    I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"