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Crush jokes

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Dream

My dream:

The image shows a text conversation between "My friend" and an unnamed person and then the description of the unnamed person's dream. The first part of the image says, "My friend: - I had a dream about my crush today! - And you?" The second part of the image shows a close-up of a Black man with wide eyes and his mouth open, wearing a white shirt with red stains. A cat with a grumpy face is visible in the center of the man's chest.

Reply

The image shows a conversation in a game of Among Us where a blue character accuses a red character of being sus for taking too long to reply. A red character then replies, "Still faster than your crush's reply." Below the chat are four stone figures with shocked facial expressions.

Pussy

you heard him, quit being a pussy

A cartoon image of a turtle with a sword. The text on the image says "Quit being a pussy and confess to your crush already."

Eye

Me:get glasses me after looking at my crush

An animated pink character with bulging red eyes and smoke coming out of them, with the text "MY EYES" overlaid on the image.

Lol

The image shows three anime characters sleeping in bed. The top left is a blonde character labeled "Your crush". The top right is a male character labeled "Not you lol". The bottom character is a blue-haired character labeled "You".

Tab

My recent tabs

Pikachu

no words

The image shows Pikachu with a shocked expression. Above the image, the text reads: "Crush: how are you? Me: good senpia. Crush:".

Shrek

SHrek

The image shows a grid of multiple Shrek face close-ups with a checkmark. On the right, a large Shrek image is shown. The text reads "Can I see your phone?" Me: "just a sec" and "ur beauty is ogrewhelming me" and "shrext-posts: Send this to your crush with no context."

Voice

Shitpost master general

A four-panel exploitable meme featuring the Trollface. The top left panel shows a beaker with yellow and blue liquid, with the text 'The voices are back'. The top right panel shows the Trollface and the text '1) do not listen to them', 'get a forklift', and 'cover yourself in oil'. The bottom left panel shows the Trollface again, surrounded by various bizarre and disturbing commands like 'cover yourself in oil', 'find a sturdy metal chair', 'place buttered toast on a cat's back', 'find two magnets', 'get a forklift', 'buy 1kg of pure mercury', 'let us take control', 'you did this to yourself', and 'kill them all', with the heading '2) resist their commands'. The bottom right panel shows the Trollface with an even more chaotic and layered jumble of text, including many of the previous commands, self-blaming phrases like 'you did this to yourself', 'we can't outrun your sins', and 'this is your fault', and the large, distressed red text '3) make it stop' and 'MAKE IT STOP'. The overall image depicts a descent into a desperate mental state.

Boyfriend

A phone screen shows a text message conversation with the last message reading "My boyfriend", followed by two images of Kermit the frog. The first image is Kermit looking at a phone with a shocked expression. The second image is Kermit laying on the floor and having his chest compressed.

Friend

he gay

The image shows Megamind, a blue animated character, looking up. There is a smaller figure standing near the side of his face. In the background is a second person looking at Megamind. Text above the image reads, "When your friend tells your crush that you like her so you tell his crush he's gay." Text on the image says: "Oh you're a villain alright, just not a super one!"

Man

A baseball player at bat next to the text "Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship."

Attack

Bro really said “eat shit”

A comic book panel shows Sonic and Knuckles confronting an enemy. Sonic tells Knuckles to secure the Master Emerald to prevent the enemy from using its power. Knuckles questions if Sonic is crazy. The panel shows the enemy attacking, with a sound effect 'SHKOOM'

Friend

Mans Down Bad

An image shows the character Megamind looking down at a small figure. The text above reads: "When your friend tells your crush that you like her so you tell his crush he's gay." Below the image is: "Oh you're a villain alright, just not a super one!"

Relationship

Hollow Knight Meme

The image shows five different Hollow Knight characters with labels above them: 'Your Crush' is a character in a pink dress with a weapon, 'Her Mother' is a cloaked insect-like creature, 'Her Brother' is a tall slender character with white armor, 'Her Father' is a character with long white spikes, 'Her Ex' has no visual, and 'You' is a beetle-like character in grey armor.

Girl

(Posted by Seth 💖)

The image lists the pros and cons of girls with thick thighs. Pros include that they are extra squishy, super great pillows, look good in skirts, dresses, and shorts, they jiggle, are soft, and could crush a watermelon. The cons are that there are none, because they are perfect.

Answer

A note asking Katie to go to prom with options "yes" or "definitely yes", followed by a video of three dancing skeletons. The text on the video says "Katie didn't hold back".

Body

A still image from the Muppets. Gonzo, a blue puppet with a large nose and grey hair, is looking at Kermit, a green frog puppet. The text below the image says, "Gonzo uses his psychic powers to crush Kermit's brittle, amphibian body."

Message

A person with their legs up in the air is wearing black shoes. The text above reads, "My crush: Sent a message. Me:".

Shotgun

Shitpost-master general

A can of PetAg KMR Kitten Milk Replacer with the text "*shotguns then proceeds to crush empty can against forehead*" written above it. The can features a picture of a cute white kitten.

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