Newest Crime Jokes - Page 13 - Worst Jokes Ever

suicide is a murder and my body should go to jail

Today I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints, wow I’m so nice taking care of the disabled

If you were to ask me: "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?", I would say a multi-storey car park. Because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.

so my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child i was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me i was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friends uncle killed my dad . the kid was never seen again . her name was Madeleine McCann i think im the only one who knows where she is but overall the head from the hooker was good

Technically suicide is murder and murder is ilegal so if I kill myself my body should go to jail

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Quilty or Not Quilty?

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came he asked what happened, the turtle responded '' I don't know, it all happened so fast''.

Someone stole my grass today, I went to the police and they said: "What's wrong?" I said "How could you tell something was wrong?" they replied "you were looking forlorn"

In jail why is the white guy scarier than the black guy. Because the white guy actually did something

Me and my stepmom went into the forest.I think I hid the body pretty well but now I have to hide the gun.

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

i went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when i saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range, i dont know who snitched...