Why do homeless people commit crimes
They get a bed in jail
A child determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, โThatโs arson.โ
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia."
"Wait! I can explain everything."
So I was being robbed and this guy had the gun to my head to i told him he was holding it backwards.
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can feel wanted.
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I donโt hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didnโt laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, Iโd be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause thatโs where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
whats the best way to get a man to confess to a rape? ask him to tell a rape joke
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
It's not rape if you both like it.
Can people please shut up about 'male privileges'. There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood, men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of โwomen onlyโ events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic depute
Women have the right to rape a man or boy and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up feminists please.
Why did the orphan commit a bank robbery?
So he could be wanted.
I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store the tea bag section had been ransacked. Luckily they found the thief Pionel Pessi with boxes of his favourite tea,Penaltea. Shame on you Pessi.
How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?
Marry her
Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.
