Crime jokes
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Ever heard of rape jokes?
No?
Well, I'll MAKE you hear 'em!
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
Who wants to see me rape a toddler?
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
Osama Bin Laden thrown in ocean!
People who helped with the Twin Towers destruction: ...
Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.