“I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years.” “Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!” “No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him.”
How to commit arson 1. Burn down an orphanage
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard...
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Why did the skeleton go to jail? Because he was bad to the bone!
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
rape isn't a joke. it's a type of way of making friends, and to mate with other women. it's a way of art, and works on anybody! like this if you agree.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped. A blonde thought and did get raped.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Its fine, he woke up
When you steal the weird pet rock so he pulls out his pet glock
i went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when i saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range, i dont know who snitched...
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
i stepped on a cornflake, they acused me of a serial killer?
What do you call a otter video game that is about robbing?- Grand Theft Otter!
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
A guy who just got robbed says "I've been hacked and the hacker ransomware."
