New Credit Jokes

What do you call a rapper with bad CREDIT?

Lil Borrow

Hey, pass me that crow bar please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home

(credit to Ryan Lombard (I think that’s his name) from YouTube shorts, I loved this dad joke/pun)

They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.

Credit to Burn in Hell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5a0jTc9S10

as i am from south carolina i just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about

them slaves taking credit for everything

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card and we live far and we my mom was hungry. A guy and his friend had a car and k us if we were lost. We said no we have no ride, no money and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each so I was driving the car and my mom gave the both guys a blowjob. We had to get out the car to look for something then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I ask what the bad news that they're not taking us home so I ask what the good news they told me that they feed my mom and drove off. I guess where we i guess the left us wsnt long walk and my mom wasm't hungry no more.

Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?

Panera fed

Credit to RogueRobot for this one:

What does parera sleep in?

Panera bed

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕 and the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!! comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

(this is not mine credit goes to the grim joker)

What does a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make noise after you throw them

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devestated with no glee

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus" but it reminded me of urine 😆 (Credits to my really funny friend)

I can’t take credit for this joke it’s not mine. Remember that time joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault he blamed the tires for being too inflated

Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."

How emos propose:would you please join my family tree.

Credit to my friend @omnom

being gay must be a pain in ass

credit to omnom

Why did the black lady gave the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds? tax credit.

Q. why can't the orphan buy robucks A. he could not use his mothers credit card

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python? When they are hungry they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eat for a day, you give a man a language and he eat for a lifetime