Creation jokes
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
WJE iceberg
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.
Why did God create women with pussies?
Because:
1. Of course, God is a man.
2. Of course, he isn't gay.
3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.