Why can't religion and science agree?
Because science creates skyscrapers, and religion combines with skyscrapers.
Creation Jokes
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
Today, I invented a new word: "plagiarism."
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
I made a website for orphans.
It has no homepage.
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
What did Eve say to Adam?
"That is rock hard."
I sat down and wrote a joke.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"
So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."
He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.
Johnny: What?
Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?
Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!
Ex: Awhh!
Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
