A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died. When she met God she asked Him how come you didnt answer my prayers? God replied 'i did, i kept sending men to rape you but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion'
i made a website for orphans it has no homepage
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it? God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
The dear God created the man. Then he created woman. When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
Adam and Eve are wondering wether they are black or white. Eve says why dont you go and ask god. So Adam goes into the garden of eden and shouts out to god are we black or white? A big booming voice bellows out YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. How do you know asks Eve. Because he said you are what you are Adam replied. Why does that mean we are white? asked Eve. Because if we were black he would have said You is what you is.
Sister- why do shampoo have directions
Me- cause God made you
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein? He is not ugly like you plus, He has a wife.
adam and eve had 3 male children, the only children on earth, how did they reproduce?
[god creating the parrot] OK HOW ABOUT A TYEDYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU
Orphan: I finally have a father! God: And who is that? Orphan: You! God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me. Orphan: :l
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it. I took some of the boo boo out licked it and and rubbed it on a wall making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and i saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
org.springframework.beans.factory.BeanCreationException: Error creating a bean with name X
God is fake
God- make a grumpy old man president Angel-why g-cause I said so-name him trump a-okay G-make him not pay taxes a-okay... Fast forwrd to 2020 G- you know that grumpy old man a-yea... G-make him create a deadly virus named after a beer A- Krona G- exactly A- why do you hate humans so much G- because I can.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead it also had rings
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy
God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly, and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever and flushes it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
Hello, This is my 4th (out of 9) account, the entire reason behind thjs post is for future personal Benefit(don't ask n fuck off)
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