Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
Jesus was drinking when he made you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
I don't know what to write here, just like...
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
Why can't religion and science agree
Because science creates skyscrapers and religion combines with skyscrapers
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
