Conversation jokes

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

#1: What are you doing?

#2: Watching a movie.

#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.

A father is talking to his three kids.

Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.

The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.

The man asks, "Is it your first time?"

The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."

If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.

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    • So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.

    1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

    2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

    3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

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    • These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."

    The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"

    The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"

    One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

    But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

    Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

    Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

    Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

    Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

    Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

    Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

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    • At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"

    My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

    So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

    My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

    I said, "Literally."

    Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.

    What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?

    "Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"

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