Construction jokes
What did the other traffic cone say to the other?
"Look away, I'm changing!"
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.
I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
"What did one wall say to the other?"
"I'll meet you at the corner!"
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? (Dam!)
I would like to make a Minecraft joke...
It would be too plain.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
Don't be racist, I am a building.
Twin Towers: fucked.
It was fake.
BE RACIST.
What is the similarity between math and buildings?
Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!