Connection jokes
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Discord.
Discord who?
I need discord to plug in the phone.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
What do apples and orphans have in common?
The apple gets picked.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Slade must be WiFi... because I’m not feeling a CONNECTION.
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.
What's the difference between you and the internet? People want a connection from the internet.