Confusion jokes

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?

Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"

Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.

Dawn rises on the Serengeti, and she has no idea as to how she got there.

Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

What is this anyway?

What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?

One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.

If an orange is orange, does that mean it's orange?

In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

Hello, are you there?

Yes, who are you?

My name is Watt.

What’s your name?

Watt’s my name.

Yes, what is your name?

My name is John Watt.

John What?

Yes, are you Jones?

No, I’m Knott.

Will you tell me your name?

Will Knott.

Why not?

My name is Knott.

Not what?

Not Watt, Knott!

*hangs up*

How do you confuse a ginger?

Throw a cross at them.

Daughter: Where was I born?

Dad: Alabama.

Daughter: That is nice.

Mum: We have never been to Alabama.

Dad: RUN!

Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

Son: What are condoms?

Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.