Confusion jokes

My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.

But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"

My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

Why did the dick go insane?

Someone kept messing with his head.

I'm looking for the bartender.

Person named Bart:

If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?

Wanna hear a joke...

I don't know, I'm too high.

I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

I miss understood that, Miss Understood.

Dumb person: Wat idk mean?

Person 1: I don’t know.

Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.

Person 1: Wait idk means--

Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?

Googol: I don’t know.

Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW

What is the definition of confusion?

Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.

Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?

They kept yelling, "Go home!"

Husband: Honey, do you want sex?

Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.

Husband: Is that your final answer?

Wife: Mmmmm.

Husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes.

Husband: No doubts?

Wife: No.

Husband staring a long time at his wife.

Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.

The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.

The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.

I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"

Joke.

Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?