If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
I miss understood that, Miss Understood.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?
They kept yelling, "Go home!"
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
Joke.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.
Why did a Mexican go to Home Depot?
Because he thought it said "Home Deport."
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
