I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
My ex keeps missing me. But her aim is steadily improving...
I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
