Conflict jokes
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?
Nothing, they blew him up.
Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
Women understand each other.
That’s why they argue.