Condiment jokes

What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?

Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.

I bought a horse and named him Mayo.

Sometimes Mayo neighs.

Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.

And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.

Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?

"Ketchup!"

A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."

What is the definition of kinky according to a Canadian?

Giving a blowjob to a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise.

Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?

To bring sweet luck.

What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?

Re-tarter sauce.

Lettuce ketchup.

What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?

What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."

"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.

And together, we are pho-ever.

"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."

Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).

🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.

No, not like you can ketchup!

Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!

Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!

Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"