What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?
Re-tarter sauce.
Lettuce ketchup.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
