Compliment jokes

You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!

"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"

In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."

I know it's really, really, really, really bad.

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)

Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?

Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏

You look sexy with that rope around your neck.

You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!