Compliment jokes

"Orla Doyle is fit."

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

I would call Slade dense, but that would be an insult to rocks.

You must be the square root of -1, because you can't be real.

What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!

Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?

A: "Those are two nice towers right there."

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"

Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.

You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.

What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?

"Nice tits."

What did the zero say to the eight?

"Nice belt!"

Why did one emo say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!

In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.

She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."

The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.