Compliment jokes

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”

A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

You look sexy with that rope around your neck.

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!

"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"

In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."

I know it's really, really, really, really bad.

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)

Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?

You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!

What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?

"Nice tits."

Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏

You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.