Competition

Competition Jokes

Game

My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].

Me: So tell me about it then.

My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.

Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.

Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.

My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.

Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.

Me: My bad again. Do continue.

My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.

Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?

My cousin: By the game.

Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]

Funeral

When Cincinnati played Alabama in 2021, they wore black at their funeral! 🤣

Russia

Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

Liverpool

Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.

Trophy

It's about bottling.

It's about crying.

I stay finished, I fake retire.

Put in the diving.

Put in the ghosting

And take my fake trophies.

Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.

My Barcelona banged by Bayern.

I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)

Creature

I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.

He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.

Pessi

MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨

Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"

Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne

Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket

⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens

Gun

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

Milk

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

Farmer

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.

Epilepsy

How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

Priest

What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?

A: They both come in a little behind.