Competition jokes

It's about bottling.

It's about crying.

I stay finished, I fake retire.

Put in the diving.

Put in the ghosting

And take my fake trophies.

Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.

My Barcelona banged by Bayern.

I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)

I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.

He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.

MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨

Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"

Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne

Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket

⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens

What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?

Ketchup!

Q: What is a box's favorite sport?

A: Box-ketball.

Ukraine (🇺🇦) vs Russia (🇷🇺), place your bets!

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.

How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?

A: They both come in a little behind.

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?

Because he was a cheetah!

If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

What competition do nuts participate in?

The peanut butter cup.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

Ball so hard! 😂🤣