Competition jokes
MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨
Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne
Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket
⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
Q: What is a box's favorite sport?
A: Box-ketball.
Ukraine (🇺🇦) vs Russia (🇷🇺), place your bets!
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Ball so hard! 😂🤣
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.