Competition jokes
Astronauts just found water on Mars! Mars: 1. Africa: 0.
It's about bottling.
It's about crying.
I stay finished, I fake retire.
Put in the diving.
Put in the ghosting
And take my fake trophies.
Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.
My Barcelona banged by Bayern.
I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.
He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.
MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨
Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne
Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket
⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
Q: What is a box's favorite sport?
A: Box-ketball.
Ukraine (🇺🇦) vs Russia (🇷🇺), place your bets!
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.