Comparison jokes

What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.

What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."

What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.

Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?

The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.

What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?

In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.

Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.

Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.

What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?

I've never been inside a submarine.

What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.

What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?

They both died with red rings.

Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.

Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.