The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
