Comparison jokes
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Memes
bombastic side eye
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.