Comparison jokes

Girl, you and slow are slower than a fairness.

How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?

There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.

I’ve seen doorknobs more interesting than LEO.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.

Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.

Your hairline is so far back Trump was ashamed.

Your hairline is so bad that KSI's hairline actually looks normal.

What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?

They both choose who they want.

What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.

What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?

A penis always goes in the hole.

I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.

What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?

Nothing, they both spout shit.

Bro, your head is so big that it shines so bright, it turns into a lightbulb.

What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?

McDonald's has a drive-thru.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I pray God I'm not so ugly as you.

The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression f**ks you harder.

Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.

Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.

Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"

Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.