Comparison jokes
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)