Comparison jokes
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
Memes
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What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.