Comparison jokes
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
Memes
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.