Comparison jokes
Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
Yo forehead is bigger than the Great Wall of China!
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
Your hairline looks like a brick wall.
Bruh, your forehead is so big even Megamind has some competition!
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.