Comparison jokes

What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One is glowing and the other is blowing.

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?

When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.

Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?

1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....

Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.

I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?

What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?

Nothing, they both can’t breathe.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)

What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.

People are like trees...

If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.

My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.

What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?

While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.