Common jokes

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?

Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?

Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”

What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?

They both get really high.

What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.

What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?

You’ve got to get more than one down.

What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?

They always getting hit.

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?

They both enjoy digging up the past.

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home.

Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.

What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?

Once they turn 18, they never come back.

What does a pencil and a plan have in common?

They were both in the Twin Towers.

What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?

They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.