Common jokes

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?

They both enjoy digging up the past.

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home.

Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.

What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?

Once they turn 18, they never come back.

What does a pencil and a plan have in common?

They were both in the Twin Towers.

What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?

They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.

What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?

When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

What do phones and orphans have in common?

They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?

They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.

What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?

They both live long with dry skin.

What do lesbians and turtles have in common?

They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)

What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?

They can both be replaced.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

What do an M&M and juice have in common?

Window.