Common jokes
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
What does a pencil and a plan have in common?
They were both in the Twin Towers.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
What do hockey players and cops have in common?
They both use sticks to hit something black.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.