Common jokes
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?
When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
What do Hitler and Trump have in common? They both do hand gestures.
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.