Common jokes
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.