Common jokes
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
What does a pencil and a plan have in common?
They were both in the Twin Towers.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
What do cake and baseball have in common?
Both need batters.