Common jokes
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."