Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
