Common jokes
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
Memes
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.