Common jokes

What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.

What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have a touchy feeling for kids.

What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?

They can't reach 30.

What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?

They are both invisible.

What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.

What do rednecks and deaf people have in common?

Don’t care wtf you say or listen to shit you say😂

What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?

Both have eight legs.

What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?

Both stare off into space.

what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?

What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?

Their parents are extinct.

What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.

What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."

What does a wife and a boombox have in common?

They only work when you beat them.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...

They're both plastic and kids turn them on.

What is the most common crime in China?

Identity fraud.

What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?

They're both hookers.

What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?

They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!