What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
What do tampons and your sister have in common?
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
