Common jokes
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?
Both were owned by their own kind.
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.
Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.
People who don't have common sense are just stupid people with ugly hearts. STOP HATING PEOPLE YOU NEVER KNOW! Also write "then exit the f word site," and I think we know that won't happen!!!
I L.O.V.E GWEN!!!!!!
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....