Common jokes
A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?
A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.