Comedy jokes

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You follow the Fresh prints.

How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

A straw.

What do you call a fish with no eye?

Fsh.

What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.

I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.

"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."

The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.

So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.

A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."

What's the best thing about an abortion joke??

No one gets offended.

what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?

dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.

morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?

There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)

I don't like 9/11 jokes, they tend to crash and burn.

Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?

A: The Blackhole.

How do rappers keep themselves clean?

They drop SOAP BARS.

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.

Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"