Comedy jokes
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.