Comedy jokes
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.