I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
Comedy Jokes
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
