Comedy jokes

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?

Yes, best comedy award.

I'm starting a clown shoe store.

It's no small feat! :oD

Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.

Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walken.

Q: What is Trump?

A: An oversized oompa loompa.

Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"

Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?

Because they don't know who's Homer.

Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."

So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."

For all of my musicians out there!

I dated a furry once.

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.

Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.

What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*

When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.

A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.

The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.

These murder jokes are just KILLING me!

I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.

What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.

Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.

The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.

The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”