Comedy jokes
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
"Black midget porn is in 911."
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.
I bet you like men!
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
This is a short joke! This short joke is long. Nice joke, Mr. Steve.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.