This is a short joke! This short joke is long. Nice joke, Mr. Steve.
Comedy Jokes
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Deez.
Deez who?
Deez nuts!
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!
I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
Russia—the real joke.
