Comedy jokes
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Technoblade was the second worst thing that happened to orphans.
Guys, they weren’t always orphans!
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
Your hairline is so bent, the McDonald's logo hairline made fun of it.
-E-
These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?
Draw deez nuts.
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*