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Comedy

Comedy jokes

People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.

I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.

"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."

The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

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    • Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?

    He couldn't make it up the stairs.

    Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.

    How did you get Sally into a blender?

    - Without much resistance.

    How do you get Sally out of a blender?

    - Tortilla chips.

    Apparently, I'm a category for jokes now. Hmm... ok!

    #HOMIEZ4Life

    P.S. Say "crack my finger," now say it backwards :)

    There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.

    God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.

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