Comedy jokes
Spaceballs: The Joke.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Hahahahahahah I'm dying.
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
Apparently, I'm a category for jokes now. Hmm... ok!
#HOMIEZ4Life
P.S. Say "crack my finger," now say it backwards :)
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
Who goes to a comedian show and gets offended?
A feminist.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini.