The Man: "Sonny why do you come to get some milk every day?" The Son: "Because , milk is important." The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?" The Boy: "Who?" The Man: "Your mom?" The Boy: "I don't have a mom." The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss." The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy .
me: ok so let's get this straight.... cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car me: but I didn't do anything? cop: no me: so why are you arresting me then? cop: imma tell you a story me: oh no....... cop: I know, now come on. me: ok where? cop: my room. me: which room? cop: my bedroom me:😱im a girl cop:so am I, now get in me: but I'm 9 cop: I'm 59
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans. When she gets home his husband puts a blindfold on hair and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes of the blind fold the lady sees 12 people with pegs on there nose singing happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife in his car and know one could see him. He threw the body out the car and thew the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife is dead and to come to the sene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops amediently arrested him. Why? ANSWER: The cops never said qhere the sene of the crime is.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”
There was this man and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin the bartender said to her I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink and she said not usually but I am doing the bishop a favour the bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening and she said no I am with the bishop tonight.
A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party and at the party, one of her friends poop their pants. When Sally finds out, she yells “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”
Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pale of water Jack come down and then Jill came tumbling after so they had a baby...
So little Johnny was waking to the bath room and he said grandma said why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help
What the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ? One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldnt work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. (Ben Shapiro 2020)
sans why did you buy that pillow zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz grhrh SANS YOU F//K YOU WAKE THE F//K UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP FRISK COMES TO THE ROOM AND ./. YOU TELL PAPyrus wwhatt hapen hhhuh humaan heeheheheh sans dint picck up his soock so i ppunish him sans egjf
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I have a cow over my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor so my family force it to come and live with me at my place. The cow ask me where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk cheese yogurt and meat? In the refrigerator where do you think i keep on the farm with all the rest of those cows? That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed then she starting getting high and drinked some cow wine with titty milk and it made her shit all over the bed.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel. The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning. The guys show up and the guards shoot them. The guys die because the guards used real guns.
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why does a orphan love baseball, because there ball come back get pranked bitch
This is Sally😉 Sally says hi 👐 This is Sally when a car comes by 🤕
What did the but cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of choochie man comes out
Period: Guess who’s back... back again... Me: Ugh, can we not do this today? Period: I can come back in 9 months? Me: Keep fucking singing.
