Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Come Jokes
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
My pen is so strong, ladies, come and get it!
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
Person A: Where do you come from?
Person B: Liberia.
Person A: *speaks softer* Oh sorry, do you come from?
All these African jokes aren't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you. You know we're rich with natural resources, that's why y'all come to steal from us. Shame on you all!
This is Sally.
Sally says hi.
This is Sally when a car comes by. 🤕
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
