Combat Jokes

During WWI and WWII the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches, I bet they really dig that weapon

What is the difference between an Isis training, camp and a school?

Not sure I just fly the drone

“If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag.”

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot and then they bumbed him know he called them the talkwakers

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet. No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.

What do u call an autistic army special forces

what do call six gay men going in a war rain bow six siege

Who will win the war like for Russia dislike for Ukraine

“Remember switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading.” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid while the shooter tries to shoot him the emo kid dodges the bullets like the matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots him self.

I thought i had the best kd ratio in my fighter jet on battlefield then i heard about Mohammed atta

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what do you call a person who died in war? Little Johnny.

Max heart and his gay cousin nickals amoto say i back out a fight when he said let's fight then last minute he said he don't want to then says i chickened out i ready to fight but his gut swolled his arms he actually looks like humpty dumpty but just wanted to say he backed out + max and nickals are both gay with each other

I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.

He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.

I asked "where are you going"

He said "Camp Bin Laden"

I asked "what do they do there"

He answered "they got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus the got arts and crafts."

I asked "what do you mean by arts and crafts?"

He said "see this towel on my head" I nodded "I made it out of boxer jokes"

President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon

Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.

The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.

And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.