Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Coffin Jokes
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)