Club

Club jokes

Trump

    • "(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic:

    ......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas!) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....

    STUMP: TEENY DICK

    BUMP: TINY TIT

    GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

    MUMP: A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE

    LUMP: IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED

    UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

    RUMP: AN ASS

    DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

    HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

    PUMP: SEE "HUMP" . . . and last, but definitely not least --

    JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL!!

    .... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse!! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS!! ..... sniff, sniff........ Ewww!" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk!". . . I better go, 'cause I just went!! ..... Ha! ha! ha!" . . . "Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen! Good Night!!" ............

    (endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')

    "OH LORDY!!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"

    (quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen."

  • 9

    • Step

    • How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:

    1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝

    These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.

  • 1
    • Club memes

    Michael Jackson

    • What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

    The Mikey Jackson club.

    How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

    M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

  • 1

    • Stripper

    • Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

    Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.

  • 0

    • Chick

    • I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.

  • 0

    • Social change

    • Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”

    Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”

  • 1

    • Comedian

    • *walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

  • 2

    • Cult

    • Hello, this is our fun CULT, haha, or CLUB, whatever you want!

    Love you, orphan haters! :^ Nina

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    • Pirate

    • Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?

    Because he has ALL of the booty!

  • 1