Club

Club jokes

Mama

    • Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!

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    • Michael Jackson

    • What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

    The Mikey Jackson club.

    How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

    M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

  • 1

    • Pirate

    • Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?

    Because he has ALL of the booty!

  • 1
    • Club memes

    Phone

    • A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:

    Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.

    The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

    The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”

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    • Man

    • A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.

    The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

    The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

    The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

    The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.

  • 1

    • Guy

    • Hi guys, I am starting a Gwen funny club. If you wanna join, then just type so here. Hope you have fun!

    Oh, and also can be a Gwen name club for Gwens only!

    Strip club

    • I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.

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    • Social change

    • Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”

    Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”

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    • Poker

    • Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

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