Clothing jokes
What did the glove say to his girlfriend?
I glove you!
Hi, I like emos because they are black.
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?
Because they are hiding stitches.
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"
Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."
Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.
What kind of knickers is the best?
Windy knickers, because they're the best kind.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.