Clothing jokes
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.
What kind of knickers is the best?
Windy knickers, because they're the best kind.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
Why was the belt placed under arrest?
For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.