Church jokes
What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?
Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.
What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.