Church jokes
What is a priest's favorite song?
-- Magic Flute in A minor.
What kind of sex do priests love?.
Nun.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
Community talk
Yall. I pulled aa muscle in my leg during church, because i was running in heels and like almost twisted my ankle and almost fell over twice (yippie) and my shoulders still hurt 🫶
Guys, I went to church on Sunday. The church I used to go to has a new pastor. He has three girls and one boy. The girls are all around my age, and really sweet. And I was sitting next to the girls' side of the youth group, and one of their daughters asked me if I wanted to pray with them during worship. So I was like, "yeah sure," and I went in front of the pews to pray with them. One was holding my hand, then Paris… Read more
yall i js got home from church and i was gone for a few hours and the dog got so excited to see me that she peed a little 😭😭😭