Chuck jokes
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
So that's why...
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.
Clarm chin ass bou ducky wack wakaka chuck chuyli bingbong DA sauec.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*
Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*
Me: Well, shit.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris is a ham weiner.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris once went to hell.
After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.