Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
