Chuck jokes

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.

The Lego broke in half.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.

MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”

In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.