Chuck jokes

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.

The Lego broke in half.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.

MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”

In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.